Monday, July 27, 2015

Survivor Burnout

Ok this is weird...

I literally haven't typed in this space since February. 

I swear there is a reason.

It's not an excuse, but I'm going through something....weird.

Something I can only describe as survivor burnout.

The end of 2014 was absolutely amazing. My story was featured in Good Housekeeping, I was on the Dr Oz show, and I was emailing with survivors and their caretakers from all over the world. Every time I checked my email there was a new message from someone who had just had a heart attack or gone through a life altering event. I responded to as many as I could, sometimes late into the night. I heard the stories of survivors, mostly women, who needed someone to talk to who understood what they had been through. I couldn't say no. Meanwhile I was still volunteering, going to the Go Red For Women luncheon, working with my local AHA Passion Committee, and guest blogging for websites. 

It hit me around March that I was sad...too sad. I had taken on the stories of others, worrying about their health and futures and rather than empathizing I had begun sympathizing. I was feeling their pain and reliving my trauma over and over again. I felt guilty when someone's situation was worse than mine and devastated to learn of someone's passing. I realized I needed a change. 

I want to help others, but I have to find a different way of going about it. A healthier way. 

So if I haven't emailed you back, responded to your comment, or sent you a return message on Facebook, please forgive me. I am working through this and I will be back to me in no time.

xoxo, S