Saturday, September 8, 2012

The Roller Coaster of Recovery

I swear I'm not bitter. Let me begin by saying that. Tuesday I ran 3 miles with Kathleen. That's my total for this week...3. Yup. Wednesday night I came home after a relaxing mani/pedi to the entrance to my apartment complex being under 2 feet of water so I didn't get home until 11:00 and then I had to get some work done. So forget getting up at the butt crack of dawn to run on Thursday. Today I decided my body needed more sleep than running so I bailed. Not a great week for mileage but that's ok.

Did I mention I'm not bitter? Tuesday's run...*BEEP BEEP*...was...*BEEP BEEP*...full of...*BEEP BEEP* ...beeps. I was cursing at my heart monitor every 5 minutes. I went from having a great run last Saturday where my heart rate monitor didn't even shudder to Tuesday's 3 miles of beeping (insert beeeep for what came out of my mouth every time it happened as well). So I was a little discouraged, but definitely not bitter. ;)

This week I have so much to look forward to. Plans with amazing friends, the Central Florida Bloggers Conference, and THE GREATER ORLANDO HEART WALK! T-minus 1 week! I've met my fundraising goal (although donations are always welcome...hint hint) and now all I have to do is walk. I am a little nervous. I don't know what kind of emotional reaction I will have next Saturday. It's going to break my heart to hear stories of people who didn't make it through their heart disease or heart attack and that sense of guilt has been problematic for me from the beginning. Why did I make it and others didn't? It's a question I often have on my mind.

Another thing I am nervous about is the sign that will be posted on the Walk. The American Heart Association-Orlando Chapter asked for my story and picture, which will be on a sign posted somewhere on the Walk. It's going to be so strange to see myself on that sign. I don't like to think of myself as a survivor, I still have trouble with that word. So wearing a survivor hat, being on a survivor sign is going to be uncomfortable for me.

Also, my friend Jo is doing the Walk as well. He lost both his grandmother and his mother to heart disease. I knew Jo's mom for a long time, we've been friends since we were teenagers. Watching him lose his mother was terrible. They were extremely close and she was an amazing woman. So when I had my heart attacks, I felt bad that he had to go through some of those emotions all over again. Walking with him will be comforting and heart breaking at the same time.

So we Walk. We Walk so that there is money for research and education. This money will go towards educating others about the warning signs of heart attacks and provide information about healthy eating and making healthy choices. We are helping to fund research on ground breaking medications and technologies that could save someone's life. Doctors will be able to receive information that could change the face of these diseases. So we Walk.

If you haven't already, please make a donation or sign up to Walk. Let's advocate for better health, remember lost loved ones and celebrate that we are still here. ♥

Please donate!

My awesome shirt that I made online. Can't wait to wear it:)

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